1. home

no matter where i’ve been or who i’m with
i just never ever really fit in
could this be a curse to think of the worst
but i know this just can’t be it
been to all the sandy beaches and city high rises
but they’re far in comparison
i keep dreaming of a place that’s far from here
a place i’ve never been, no, no
because my lover’s waiting there for me
preparing a place where i can be
if you want to come along and see
baby just ask me
won’t you please

wherever he is there is heaven there
wherever he is i’m walking on air
wherever he is no one else compares
wherever he is i want to be there

2. lover’s lament

hesitating my hand is on the door
that leads into your secret chambers love
memories of lying next to you
now i stand a stranger you never knew
how did i become tattered and torn
once dressed in white, declared so pure
what once was yours now covered in disgrace
would you still recognize this face

i hear you coming near
and i tremble with fear
would you receive me now
would you take me there
you open up the door
and cover me, cover me with love
embraced within your arms
you call me your own

cause i’ve been running full of shame
but you out run me with your grace

3. inside

would it be easier
if everyday was perfect
and life was handed on a plate to you
would you be different now
would you be stronger now
without the storms that awaken you

inside to rise and face this life
will you deny yourself this chance to change
inside don’t let your spirit die
how long will it be before you’re freed inside

numb to all emotion
not knowing our condition
can we ever find true piece of mind
is it here and now
do we dare to find
our souls are begging us to dig

4. farewell

didn’t think i would see you so soon
and i thought we parted our ways for good
we used to walk together but the future looked grim
so i left you behind in the desert that day
shook off the dust and never turned around
need to walk, need to walk
keep walking on
but you’re still here

farewell this time
can’t change what’s been done but can’t move on with you around
farewell this time
from now on it’s forever to a different state of mind
this time

freedom isn’t mine tonight
maybe it was here but it seems otherwise
the truth was never simple and you water it down
wet my feet pull me back
slip and fall to the ground
the place where i am
was where i was yesterday
i need to walk, need to walk
keep walking on
but you’re still here

5. choose

lock strikes 3 am

up entertaining doubts again
feels so familiar
but this cynical soul is giving way
it’s time for losing
as truth comes to wrestle me again
down on my knees
can’t turn away, can’t turn away from this
what kind of man
would die for you and me
why take the blame
what does he see in me

you chose love over logic
you chose grace over reason for me
chose suffering over glory
you chose to take that place for me

your feet that walked on water
same feet that walked up calvary
you cried a different cup to take
but cried forgiveness over me
a king who came a servant
crowned by his people with mockery
the innocent was judged to hell
but he rose to come and set us free

6. if only

there must have been better days than this
but even those days didn’t go noticed
we tend to want something else
a little more, how much more will finally please
maybe it’s useless shedding all these tears you see
blessed are those who don’t forget they are
misery keeping your attention company
maybe it’s time for it to leave

if only i, if only i, if only i

could get away from this

if only i, if only i, if only i

could benefit from this

sometimes we miss what’s between the lines
these eyes are quick to stray to the other side
but even grass on every side
has a time to lose its shade of green
maybe it’s useless shedding all these tears you see
blessed are those who don’t forget they are
misery keeping your attention company
maybe it’s time for it to leave

life’s not walking on straight lines
brace yourself it’s gonna be a messy ride
grace just get there ahead of me in time
maybe yesterday won’t follow behind
don’t follow behind
just leave it behind
gotta leave it behind
maybe it’s time
don’t you think it’s time
you’re wasting time
well I think it’s time

7. undone

hey you, why you looking so down
standing under a rain cloud wondering
when the sun’s coming around
and you feel, like you’re drowning in your fears
wondering, if this messy sea is ever gonna be split in two

wrap yourself in the comfort of self pity
giving up on the things you cannot see
this thing called faith, ain’t no joke playing with your doubts
you’re desperate for a miracle now

i cry undo me, undo me
undo me, completely
undo me, undo me
’till i’m undone
’till i’m undone

ain’t it funny we try to justify our fears
exaggerate the sacrifice while sitting on a bed of blessings
so dry your tears and run to your god
this one truth i know less of me and more of him

and if your guilt and shame
is keeping you from your god
well, don’t you know
nothing can separate you from his love
we are more than conquerors through him
who loved us to give us his son
don’t let this song be the end of your conviction
run to your god and cry

8. beautiful surprise

feels like heaven skies are smiling now
and the melody’s playing for two
oh how this year had favor on me
but i never saw it coming
my beautiful, beautiful surprise

now i hear you love
i hear you loud and clear
now i see you love
much better in this light of truth
what a perfect love
more than i could ever try to find for me
oh, you’ve found me love
so thank you, thank you, thank you love

this solo journey’s been quite a ride
leaving a trail of bittersweet memories behind
but someone always had me in mind
to wait in content for
my beautiful, beautiful surprise

9. fade

pardon me but i’ve got to confess
what you see isn’t what you get
i can’t play these roles anymore
can’t hide myself with you in that comfortable hole
frankly i find it hard to see
hiding underneath all these sheets
am i so used not being me
i’m starting to wonder where i am
i wonder where i am

plan my escape from reality, make myself disappear
come and open up my doors and clean out these fears
can’t stay hidden by the light, can’t stay living by a lie
carry me over these walls
i’m not willing to climb
climb

my shadow’s cast in the light
but soon it begins to fade out of sight
don’t worry about these tearful eyes
it takes time to adjust to reality
can we stop this masquerade and take time for being

sometimes we think we’re so high
we need to fall to see we’re not
and sometimes we have to ask is that really you
if you can’t tell whoever will
and when we think we’re alone in this endeavor to be fine
it’s funny to see we’re all together, together in this line

10. a call to live

could it be i’ve created this seclusion of mine
and forgotten what this life is for
do i hold onto what i think is rightfully mine
blind to see that all is yours
building up my fears of loss and failures
when greater treasures are found in your ways
is this your voice getting louder still
is it me you’re calling today
calling today

am i willing to stay
or willing to go
we like to say “whatever you will o’ lord”
but does this heart even have an open door
who am i truly living for
who am i truly living for
is it my way, my thoughts, my comfort, my rights

does the “i” become greater than I AM
the greater battle is in our hearts my friends
is it him we’re truly living for
Ii it him we’re truly living for

could it be i’ve ignored the cries of your children
the tears that spoke your call to go
countless pictures and stories i’ve seen
of people in need
what am i waiting for
praying for a hungry desperate generation
asking you to open others eyes to see
but is this your voice getting louder still
is it me you’re calling today
calling today

11. ezekiel

come and breathe on these dry bones
bring me up out of this grave
come and raise this buried soul
and let me dance within your courts

to hear more than echoes of your voice
to have more than traces of your love
to feel your heart much more than my own
to be closer than i’ve ever been

heaven don’t turn your eyes away
this distance is too great to bear
my nakedness covered with sin
could you take me back again

your presence comes in like the dawn
breaking the shadows that covered me
you gather up these broken pieces
that have been scattered among pagan lands
you take my mind away from former things
to dwell on the things of new
for you’ve made a way for me
now my springs are in you (4x)

i hear more than echoes of your voice
i have more than traces of your love
i feel your heart much more than my own
to be closer than i’ve ever been

12. today

pulling down the shades
you’re comfortably lying in your bed
wrapped in fear
you’d rather hide away
never to feel the air again
you desperately plea
today
i’d rather stay away
today
can wait another day

you remind me
of one who painted colorful pictures with gray
call it illogical, insensible dreaming
but dreamers have the final say

so if you find him
please tell him that i’ve saved his place
on this runway
to fly in higher skies of grace
don’t worry about your wings
you’d find them if you’ll only fly
all you need is to hold tightly to me

your reflection fades
while you try to live a memory
of yesterday
and trust became your enemy
now you’re holding hands with unbelief
unexpectedly
today
has gone away
today
now another day